"What? You don't like a good party?" Cobb feels a touch guilty for not inviting Fenris in that moment. He didn't think that was something they did though. They played cards, they flirted, and they fucked. "We could've danced, sweetheart."
He has no idea if Fenris dances but it could've been fun. Could've been a lot of fun.
"I'm the one interrupting your night," he says as he brushes his thumb over Fenris' skin. He can feel it now with the right thanks to the synthskin. He can feel the warmth. "What do you want?"
If Fenris wants a quiet night, he'll give him that. Cobb wants the company more than anything else. He's been feeling real lonely.
"I'm more of a tavern get together type I suppose," he wasn't much for parties, he wasn't much for anything of the sort, but he was for taverns and playing cards and fucking, so really, what they had going on suited him just fine.
He's used to Cobb's penchant for calling him sweetheart, but it never fails to make the pits of his ears warm up. "Could've been my first." Seeing how he's never danced with another person before.
Though he thinks about the offer. Anything he wants huh? He wasn't feeling especially rowdy right now, but he could go for a slow lazy fuck.
Cobb feels a little bit shocked. Fenris hasn't danced? Even enslaved Cobb got chances to dance. It feels like one of those things a freed slave would've indulged in at least once just for the sake of trying it.
Well, he can fix that.
Cobb makes his movements clear so Fenris can push him away if he's not interest. He takes him in his arms and with little nudges guides him into a gentle swaying circle.
"Let's make it your first," he says with a playful smile. "Got no chains to weigh you down. Long past time to find out if you like a little dancin'."
There's no music but Cobb quickly fixes that by humming a song from home. He actually has a pleasant voice for it. Never mind his relic could play music for them. He likes this much better.
It's a little more intimate. A little more personal.
Fenris might sometimes be a little bit of a cornered animal, so it was always appreciated when someone makes their intention clear so he has his chance to consent to it or not instead of it being forced on him. Still, he nods his consent, letting Cobb pull him into his arms and start to sway. Fenris puts his arms around the man as well and sways with him.
"It seemed like something I might enjoy.. I have talked about it in jest, but I'm not much of one for public displays," Fenris knows how to move his body so he is quick to figure out the movement to the hummed music.
Cobb does have a nice voice. It was easy to relax against the man and let himself not feel silly for dancing in the middle of his living room. He feels like it could easily be something that makes him uncomfortable, how intimate it was, but it wasn't.
Not that he was gonna think too hard about why that is. They weren't like that.
It's a little silly. Cobb likes dancing though. The alcohol has made him loose and willing to take a few more risks, cross a few lines, that he wouldn't normally. They've got a whole list of silent rules in this and they've been real careful. He's tired of being careful.
"Then we'll keep this to ourselves," he says with a little lopsided shrug. He leans in and brushes his lips against Fenris. "But you're a good dancer. A little more practice that natural grace will sweep folks off their feet."
He'll keep that to himself for now. Just a little something for himself. Cobb goes back to his humming until the song's over and then holds Fenris for a moment, his hands sliding over his sides and down to his hips.
When Cobb crosses those lines, he can't bring himself to mind. He can't bring himself to pull away from how intimate the kiss feels when they are this close, dancing as they are. He's not used to intimate, yet he doesn't mind it with Cobb, probably because his scars and wounds aren't going to frighten the man.
"Natural grace, hm? I admit, I do not know if I did this before my memory was erased by pain, I wonder if the man I was before being torn asunder was one to dance with the other slaves," It was a bit heavy for a dance, but it's something he wondered about himself.
And it was so easy to talk to Cobb, to know he won't be pitied or misunderstood. This was just a fact of his life, he is not trying to garner anything, just wishing to speak a thought as it comes.
He doesn't release his hold on Cobb either, giving into the want to breathe in Cobb and the moment. "Thank you for being the first," he would hold on to this memory.
"They didn't like us to celebrate too much," he says, not bothered by the heavy turn of conversation. Cobb understands the weight of it. He knows Fenris will understand too. "Overseers worry about us gettin' rowdy. Always did like to dance when I could. Made me feel free."
It was proof they were still people, still had a soul even when the Overseers and slave masters wanted them to be nothing but machines, but resources. He imagines before the loss of his memories there was probably dancing. He hopes there was dancing.
"Always glad to indulge you, sweetheart." Which was very true. Cobb was willing to go along with a lot if Fenris asked him. Out of a sense of brotherhood, sure, and something more. Maybe.
"They let slaves celebrate in quiet ways, but they also feared the elves becoming too rowdy. Oppression doesn't lead to much reason to celebrate anyway," he understands. He can see how getting to move your body like this with someone could lend to a feeling of freedom.
Fenris huffs an amused breath at the comment. Was Cobb really so willing to indulge him? Was it even safe to do so? Was it okay to feel a sense of brotherhood or... more? Especially when he feels the tips of his ears warm at the familiar endearment.
Why does he have a desire to push Cobb down on the couch and slowly let the man fuck him... something dangerously close to the way they danced just now.
Instead, he kisses the man again instead of finding words or acting on the impulse.
Kissing is a fine distraction from heavy topics and uncertainty. Cobb's hands go from Fenris' hips up to holding his face. He draws the kiss out into a second and a third. It's a different kind of dance and probably the sort Fenris expects from him.
There's a part of Cobb though that wants something softer. Gentler. Probably because he's just spent hours in the company of two people deeply in love. His heart's aching just a little with jealousy.
So when the kiss ends he nuzzles against his cheek. "Let me spend the night, will ya? In your bed with you." Cobb's happy to provide the sex too but he doesn't want to stay if he's just going to get sent to the couch or sent home. He wants something more from Fenris tonight.
The request surprises Fenris to say the least. All of Cobb's softness surprises him really, but maybe it was the lingering effects of going to a wedding, of feeling lonely. Afterall, did not Cobb recently lose his housemate?
Bringing his hands up to Cobb's, resting them on top of the other man's, he finds himself not opposed to the suggestion. In fact, he feels like it's not all that off from the soft way he feels at the moment.
He could say no, and in some circumstances he probably would, his space was important to him, but Cobb asks and catches Fenris in the right mood honestly.
"I suppose with your height, you'll be the big spoon," he says simply. His bed wasn't the biggest, they would definitely probably end up cuddling.
Cobb chuckles softly at the question. "I don't really care, honestly."
He's got his pride but he doesn't mind. Fenris is letting him stay. He'll take whatever position he wants if it means he can stay. Give him one night of something softer and sweeter to enjoy and he'll make sure to follow the rules of this next time.
Cobb kisses him deeper this time trying to build a slow heat between them. Fenris doesn't seem to want to get back to whatever he was doing before this. Might as well move it forward to what they usually did together.
"Good, I don't have a preference... it shall be another first for you to take from me," he chuckles a little. It seems Cobb was making it a thing tonight to take things from him that he was willingly giving. At least as far as memory served.
Isabela and him never cuddled, she joked about it, but they had their own boundaries, ones they never crossed like he was doing with Cobb tonight. He doesn't think about it too deeply.
Though he does wonder if this is setting a new precedent for their rules or if this is a one time thing.
The deep kiss was nice, he presses into it, a slow almost sensual kiss. They were progressing towards familiar territory, but he wouldn't mind either if it didn't. Still, the building heat in him was easily ignited as he pressed himself up closer to the man.
There's something in the air tonight. Cobb likes the kiss. He likes the way Fenris is pressed against him. He does like it but he's not thinking about sex like he usually is when they're together.
He steers him towards the stairs because he does want to end up in bed. There's a softness to his usual hunger. Cobb's thinking more about the after. About getting to wrap himself around Fenris and hold on to him. Stars, he just wants to be close.
But he starts nudging him up those stairs towards his bedroom. This is what they do. They fuck. The feelings Cobb's got jumbled in his head from the wedding and rejection will just get in the way.
Once the clothes start coming off it'll turn hot and heavy like always. Cobb believes. How could he not want this gorgeous man in his arms?
There was something off about it all tonight. It was too soft, too intimate, and it scared him a little. He's never done this with anyone before, not like this. It feels like unfamiliar territory, but he wants to continue forward regardless.
Maybe it will become more normal once they start.
So he deepens the kiss as he lets himself be guided to the stairs, already starting to strip himself out of his shirt and working on the same with Cobb. He just needs to take this a step at a time.
They'll get to fucking and it will feel normal again.
They make it to the foot of the bed with their shirts on the floor, trading kisses, with their body's pressed tight together and Cobb just... can't. He can't.
He feels the tension in Fenris' back and shoulders. He feels his own conflict, torn between old hurt and stupid pride, none of which really adds up to what it should. That spark between them, the heat they usually find so easily isn't there.
"Dank farrick," Cobb curses as he pulls his mouth away and turns his head. Damn it. He sooths his hands down Fenris' arms before he steps back.
"This ain't..." He rubs a hand over his mouth. "Don't think I'm good for this tonight."
And somehow that makes him feel like he's let Fenris down. That he's not enough for him either. Yeah, his head ain't in the right place at all. "Interrupt your evenin' and I can't even... I'll get out of your way."
No this wasn't working and Fenris can tell pretty quickly that it's something that is pretty obvious no matter how hard they seem to be trying to make it work. Especially when Cobb pulls away cursing. No, this wasn't exactly right tonight.
"Cobb, it's fine," he reaches over and touches the man's good shoulder, hand on it for a second before he pulls away and moves to his dresser and pulls out a couple pairs of very soft night pants. Cobb was thin enough they would fit him, maybe be a little short but whatever. If he didn't like it, he could leave.
"Here," he presses one pair into Cobb's hands before wordlessly excusing himself back down the stairs. It takes a couple minutes, but he gathers his book he was working on and brings it upstairs after a couple minutes. Setting it on the nightstand changing without comment.
It was about as close to an invitation to stay as he was gonna get without being asked directly.
Is it? Are they fine? Cobb knows he's a damn mess deep down and doing all he can to hide it but this just proved he's really not okay. His instincts rarely lead him wrong but he feels out of step with everything around him, especially when Fenris takes pity on him and gives him clothes.
He changes into the pants which are only a little tight around the hips and wildly too short because he knows this unsettled feeling will only be worse if he goes home to nothing and no one. He let himself get used to company, to another presence, and that's gone so now what?
Now this, he supposes. He's got to learn to walk on shifting sands again.
Cobb crawls into bed while Fenris is downstairs and lays down on his back, staring up at the ceiling. He makes the choice not to fill the silence with words even if he feels like he should explain or make an excuse for his behavior.
Fenris has no idea if they are fine or if what is between them is changed by tonight. But it wasn't worth thinking about right now. He didn't have answers but he wasn't about to turn away a friend in needs just because their needs were... more intimate than he was used to dealing with. He was more used to direct matters.
But when he slips into bed as well, he moves to lay on his side, back to the man to allow him the chance to spoon him if he wishes, opening his book to try and read while they do so.
"My good friend Rue has a bookclub, I am working on my reading for it," he says after a while to fill the silence. "It is easier for me to read outloud, I hope that will not disturb you."
"Don't read much. Too slow at it." Cobb takes a moment to think, debating quietly with himself. He asked for this but it felt like... like he hadn't earned it. Like by stopping sex he didn't deserve to cuddle close and hold Fenris.
That unmoored feeling came back hard but Cobb takes a deep breath and buries it like he buries the anger and pain he carries daily.
"Don't mind. You do what you need. Just gonna try and sleep." Cobb settles more on his back and closes his eyes. He'll drift off eventually just because of alcohol and exhaustion.
In the morning, he'll make breakfast for Fenris to pay him back for this hospitality.
"Same," is all he says in reply, because he too is slow and not very good at it, yet Rue is determined to help him get better at it, so he keeps trying. Not like he has much else to do with his time here. He needed more hobbies really.
But slowly, very slowly, he reads outloud, "There are few people whom I really love, and still fewer of whom I think well. The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it; and every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of merit or sense," sometimes he stumbles over words, sometimes he doesn't, but he gets through it slowly.
Eventually, he will set aside the book and curl up with Cobb and sleep. He will be grateful for the breakfast in the morning, but the air will be different. How could it not be. But that was a problem for another day.
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He has no idea if Fenris dances but it could've been fun. Could've been a lot of fun.
"I'm the one interrupting your night," he says as he brushes his thumb over Fenris' skin. He can feel it now with the right thanks to the synthskin. He can feel the warmth. "What do you want?"
If Fenris wants a quiet night, he'll give him that. Cobb wants the company more than anything else. He's been feeling real lonely.
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He's used to Cobb's penchant for calling him sweetheart, but it never fails to make the pits of his ears warm up. "Could've been my first." Seeing how he's never danced with another person before.
Though he thinks about the offer. Anything he wants huh? He wasn't feeling especially rowdy right now, but he could go for a slow lazy fuck.
"Let's just see where the night takes us?"
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Well, he can fix that.
Cobb makes his movements clear so Fenris can push him away if he's not interest. He takes him in his arms and with little nudges guides him into a gentle swaying circle.
"Let's make it your first," he says with a playful smile. "Got no chains to weigh you down. Long past time to find out if you like a little dancin'."
There's no music but Cobb quickly fixes that by humming a song from home. He actually has a pleasant voice for it. Never mind his relic could play music for them. He likes this much better.
It's a little more intimate. A little more personal.
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"It seemed like something I might enjoy.. I have talked about it in jest, but I'm not much of one for public displays," Fenris knows how to move his body so he is quick to figure out the movement to the hummed music.
Cobb does have a nice voice. It was easy to relax against the man and let himself not feel silly for dancing in the middle of his living room. He feels like it could easily be something that makes him uncomfortable, how intimate it was, but it wasn't.
Not that he was gonna think too hard about why that is. They weren't like that.
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"Then we'll keep this to ourselves," he says with a little lopsided shrug. He leans in and brushes his lips against Fenris. "But you're a good dancer. A little more practice that natural grace will sweep folks off their feet."
He'll keep that to himself for now. Just a little something for himself. Cobb goes back to his humming until the song's over and then holds Fenris for a moment, his hands sliding over his sides and down to his hips.
"Thank you for indulging an old man."
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"Natural grace, hm? I admit, I do not know if I did this before my memory was erased by pain, I wonder if the man I was before being torn asunder was one to dance with the other slaves," It was a bit heavy for a dance, but it's something he wondered about himself.
And it was so easy to talk to Cobb, to know he won't be pitied or misunderstood. This was just a fact of his life, he is not trying to garner anything, just wishing to speak a thought as it comes.
He doesn't release his hold on Cobb either, giving into the want to breathe in Cobb and the moment. "Thank you for being the first," he would hold on to this memory.
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It was proof they were still people, still had a soul even when the Overseers and slave masters wanted them to be nothing but machines, but resources. He imagines before the loss of his memories there was probably dancing. He hopes there was dancing.
"Always glad to indulge you, sweetheart." Which was very true. Cobb was willing to go along with a lot if Fenris asked him. Out of a sense of brotherhood, sure, and something more. Maybe.
Or the start of something more.
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Fenris huffs an amused breath at the comment. Was Cobb really so willing to indulge him? Was it even safe to do so? Was it okay to feel a sense of brotherhood or... more? Especially when he feels the tips of his ears warm at the familiar endearment.
Why does he have a desire to push Cobb down on the couch and slowly let the man fuck him... something dangerously close to the way they danced just now.
Instead, he kisses the man again instead of finding words or acting on the impulse.
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There's a part of Cobb though that wants something softer. Gentler. Probably because he's just spent hours in the company of two people deeply in love. His heart's aching just a little with jealousy.
So when the kiss ends he nuzzles against his cheek. "Let me spend the night, will ya? In your bed with you." Cobb's happy to provide the sex too but he doesn't want to stay if he's just going to get sent to the couch or sent home. He wants something more from Fenris tonight.
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Bringing his hands up to Cobb's, resting them on top of the other man's, he finds himself not opposed to the suggestion. In fact, he feels like it's not all that off from the soft way he feels at the moment.
He could say no, and in some circumstances he probably would, his space was important to him, but Cobb asks and catches Fenris in the right mood honestly.
"I suppose with your height, you'll be the big spoon," he says simply. His bed wasn't the biggest, they would definitely probably end up cuddling.
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Cobb chuckles softly at the question. "I don't really care, honestly."
He's got his pride but he doesn't mind. Fenris is letting him stay. He'll take whatever position he wants if it means he can stay. Give him one night of something softer and sweeter to enjoy and he'll make sure to follow the rules of this next time.
Cobb kisses him deeper this time trying to build a slow heat between them. Fenris doesn't seem to want to get back to whatever he was doing before this. Might as well move it forward to what they usually did together.
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Isabela and him never cuddled, she joked about it, but they had their own boundaries, ones they never crossed like he was doing with Cobb tonight. He doesn't think about it too deeply.
Though he does wonder if this is setting a new precedent for their rules or if this is a one time thing.
The deep kiss was nice, he presses into it, a slow almost sensual kiss. They were progressing towards familiar territory, but he wouldn't mind either if it didn't. Still, the building heat in him was easily ignited as he pressed himself up closer to the man.
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He steers him towards the stairs because he does want to end up in bed. There's a softness to his usual hunger. Cobb's thinking more about the after. About getting to wrap himself around Fenris and hold on to him. Stars, he just wants to be close.
But he starts nudging him up those stairs towards his bedroom. This is what they do. They fuck. The feelings Cobb's got jumbled in his head from the wedding and rejection will just get in the way.
Once the clothes start coming off it'll turn hot and heavy like always. Cobb believes. How could he not want this gorgeous man in his arms?
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Maybe it will become more normal once they start.
So he deepens the kiss as he lets himself be guided to the stairs, already starting to strip himself out of his shirt and working on the same with Cobb. He just needs to take this a step at a time.
They'll get to fucking and it will feel normal again.
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He feels the tension in Fenris' back and shoulders. He feels his own conflict, torn between old hurt and stupid pride, none of which really adds up to what it should. That spark between them, the heat they usually find so easily isn't there.
"Dank farrick," Cobb curses as he pulls his mouth away and turns his head. Damn it. He sooths his hands down Fenris' arms before he steps back.
"This ain't..." He rubs a hand over his mouth. "Don't think I'm good for this tonight."
And somehow that makes him feel like he's let Fenris down. That he's not enough for him either. Yeah, his head ain't in the right place at all. "Interrupt your evenin' and I can't even... I'll get out of your way."
What else is he supposed to do?
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"Cobb, it's fine," he reaches over and touches the man's good shoulder, hand on it for a second before he pulls away and moves to his dresser and pulls out a couple pairs of very soft night pants. Cobb was thin enough they would fit him, maybe be a little short but whatever. If he didn't like it, he could leave.
"Here," he presses one pair into Cobb's hands before wordlessly excusing himself back down the stairs. It takes a couple minutes, but he gathers his book he was working on and brings it upstairs after a couple minutes. Setting it on the nightstand changing without comment.
It was about as close to an invitation to stay as he was gonna get without being asked directly.
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He changes into the pants which are only a little tight around the hips and wildly too short because he knows this unsettled feeling will only be worse if he goes home to nothing and no one. He let himself get used to company, to another presence, and that's gone so now what?
Now this, he supposes. He's got to learn to walk on shifting sands again.
Cobb crawls into bed while Fenris is downstairs and lays down on his back, staring up at the ceiling. He makes the choice not to fill the silence with words even if he feels like he should explain or make an excuse for his behavior.
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But when he slips into bed as well, he moves to lay on his side, back to the man to allow him the chance to spoon him if he wishes, opening his book to try and read while they do so.
"My good friend Rue has a bookclub, I am working on my reading for it," he says after a while to fill the silence. "It is easier for me to read outloud, I hope that will not disturb you."
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That unmoored feeling came back hard but Cobb takes a deep breath and buries it like he buries the anger and pain he carries daily.
"Don't mind. You do what you need. Just gonna try and sleep." Cobb settles more on his back and closes his eyes. He'll drift off eventually just because of alcohol and exhaustion.
In the morning, he'll make breakfast for Fenris to pay him back for this hospitality.
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But slowly, very slowly, he reads outloud, "There are few people whom I really love, and still fewer of whom I think well. The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it; and every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of merit or sense," sometimes he stumbles over words, sometimes he doesn't, but he gets through it slowly.
Eventually, he will set aside the book and curl up with Cobb and sleep. He will be grateful for the breakfast in the morning, but the air will be different. How could it not be. But that was a problem for another day.