"Good, I don't have a preference... it shall be another first for you to take from me," he chuckles a little. It seems Cobb was making it a thing tonight to take things from him that he was willingly giving. At least as far as memory served.
Isabela and him never cuddled, she joked about it, but they had their own boundaries, ones they never crossed like he was doing with Cobb tonight. He doesn't think about it too deeply.
Though he does wonder if this is setting a new precedent for their rules or if this is a one time thing.
The deep kiss was nice, he presses into it, a slow almost sensual kiss. They were progressing towards familiar territory, but he wouldn't mind either if it didn't. Still, the building heat in him was easily ignited as he pressed himself up closer to the man.
There's something in the air tonight. Cobb likes the kiss. He likes the way Fenris is pressed against him. He does like it but he's not thinking about sex like he usually is when they're together.
He steers him towards the stairs because he does want to end up in bed. There's a softness to his usual hunger. Cobb's thinking more about the after. About getting to wrap himself around Fenris and hold on to him. Stars, he just wants to be close.
But he starts nudging him up those stairs towards his bedroom. This is what they do. They fuck. The feelings Cobb's got jumbled in his head from the wedding and rejection will just get in the way.
Once the clothes start coming off it'll turn hot and heavy like always. Cobb believes. How could he not want this gorgeous man in his arms?
There was something off about it all tonight. It was too soft, too intimate, and it scared him a little. He's never done this with anyone before, not like this. It feels like unfamiliar territory, but he wants to continue forward regardless.
Maybe it will become more normal once they start.
So he deepens the kiss as he lets himself be guided to the stairs, already starting to strip himself out of his shirt and working on the same with Cobb. He just needs to take this a step at a time.
They'll get to fucking and it will feel normal again.
They make it to the foot of the bed with their shirts on the floor, trading kisses, with their body's pressed tight together and Cobb just... can't. He can't.
He feels the tension in Fenris' back and shoulders. He feels his own conflict, torn between old hurt and stupid pride, none of which really adds up to what it should. That spark between them, the heat they usually find so easily isn't there.
"Dank farrick," Cobb curses as he pulls his mouth away and turns his head. Damn it. He sooths his hands down Fenris' arms before he steps back.
"This ain't..." He rubs a hand over his mouth. "Don't think I'm good for this tonight."
And somehow that makes him feel like he's let Fenris down. That he's not enough for him either. Yeah, his head ain't in the right place at all. "Interrupt your evenin' and I can't even... I'll get out of your way."
No this wasn't working and Fenris can tell pretty quickly that it's something that is pretty obvious no matter how hard they seem to be trying to make it work. Especially when Cobb pulls away cursing. No, this wasn't exactly right tonight.
"Cobb, it's fine," he reaches over and touches the man's good shoulder, hand on it for a second before he pulls away and moves to his dresser and pulls out a couple pairs of very soft night pants. Cobb was thin enough they would fit him, maybe be a little short but whatever. If he didn't like it, he could leave.
"Here," he presses one pair into Cobb's hands before wordlessly excusing himself back down the stairs. It takes a couple minutes, but he gathers his book he was working on and brings it upstairs after a couple minutes. Setting it on the nightstand changing without comment.
It was about as close to an invitation to stay as he was gonna get without being asked directly.
Is it? Are they fine? Cobb knows he's a damn mess deep down and doing all he can to hide it but this just proved he's really not okay. His instincts rarely lead him wrong but he feels out of step with everything around him, especially when Fenris takes pity on him and gives him clothes.
He changes into the pants which are only a little tight around the hips and wildly too short because he knows this unsettled feeling will only be worse if he goes home to nothing and no one. He let himself get used to company, to another presence, and that's gone so now what?
Now this, he supposes. He's got to learn to walk on shifting sands again.
Cobb crawls into bed while Fenris is downstairs and lays down on his back, staring up at the ceiling. He makes the choice not to fill the silence with words even if he feels like he should explain or make an excuse for his behavior.
Fenris has no idea if they are fine or if what is between them is changed by tonight. But it wasn't worth thinking about right now. He didn't have answers but he wasn't about to turn away a friend in needs just because their needs were... more intimate than he was used to dealing with. He was more used to direct matters.
But when he slips into bed as well, he moves to lay on his side, back to the man to allow him the chance to spoon him if he wishes, opening his book to try and read while they do so.
"My good friend Rue has a bookclub, I am working on my reading for it," he says after a while to fill the silence. "It is easier for me to read outloud, I hope that will not disturb you."
"Don't read much. Too slow at it." Cobb takes a moment to think, debating quietly with himself. He asked for this but it felt like... like he hadn't earned it. Like by stopping sex he didn't deserve to cuddle close and hold Fenris.
That unmoored feeling came back hard but Cobb takes a deep breath and buries it like he buries the anger and pain he carries daily.
"Don't mind. You do what you need. Just gonna try and sleep." Cobb settles more on his back and closes his eyes. He'll drift off eventually just because of alcohol and exhaustion.
In the morning, he'll make breakfast for Fenris to pay him back for this hospitality.
"Same," is all he says in reply, because he too is slow and not very good at it, yet Rue is determined to help him get better at it, so he keeps trying. Not like he has much else to do with his time here. He needed more hobbies really.
But slowly, very slowly, he reads outloud, "There are few people whom I really love, and still fewer of whom I think well. The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it; and every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of merit or sense," sometimes he stumbles over words, sometimes he doesn't, but he gets through it slowly.
Eventually, he will set aside the book and curl up with Cobb and sleep. He will be grateful for the breakfast in the morning, but the air will be different. How could it not be. But that was a problem for another day.
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no subject
Isabela and him never cuddled, she joked about it, but they had their own boundaries, ones they never crossed like he was doing with Cobb tonight. He doesn't think about it too deeply.
Though he does wonder if this is setting a new precedent for their rules or if this is a one time thing.
The deep kiss was nice, he presses into it, a slow almost sensual kiss. They were progressing towards familiar territory, but he wouldn't mind either if it didn't. Still, the building heat in him was easily ignited as he pressed himself up closer to the man.
no subject
He steers him towards the stairs because he does want to end up in bed. There's a softness to his usual hunger. Cobb's thinking more about the after. About getting to wrap himself around Fenris and hold on to him. Stars, he just wants to be close.
But he starts nudging him up those stairs towards his bedroom. This is what they do. They fuck. The feelings Cobb's got jumbled in his head from the wedding and rejection will just get in the way.
Once the clothes start coming off it'll turn hot and heavy like always. Cobb believes. How could he not want this gorgeous man in his arms?
no subject
Maybe it will become more normal once they start.
So he deepens the kiss as he lets himself be guided to the stairs, already starting to strip himself out of his shirt and working on the same with Cobb. He just needs to take this a step at a time.
They'll get to fucking and it will feel normal again.
no subject
He feels the tension in Fenris' back and shoulders. He feels his own conflict, torn between old hurt and stupid pride, none of which really adds up to what it should. That spark between them, the heat they usually find so easily isn't there.
"Dank farrick," Cobb curses as he pulls his mouth away and turns his head. Damn it. He sooths his hands down Fenris' arms before he steps back.
"This ain't..." He rubs a hand over his mouth. "Don't think I'm good for this tonight."
And somehow that makes him feel like he's let Fenris down. That he's not enough for him either. Yeah, his head ain't in the right place at all. "Interrupt your evenin' and I can't even... I'll get out of your way."
What else is he supposed to do?
no subject
"Cobb, it's fine," he reaches over and touches the man's good shoulder, hand on it for a second before he pulls away and moves to his dresser and pulls out a couple pairs of very soft night pants. Cobb was thin enough they would fit him, maybe be a little short but whatever. If he didn't like it, he could leave.
"Here," he presses one pair into Cobb's hands before wordlessly excusing himself back down the stairs. It takes a couple minutes, but he gathers his book he was working on and brings it upstairs after a couple minutes. Setting it on the nightstand changing without comment.
It was about as close to an invitation to stay as he was gonna get without being asked directly.
no subject
He changes into the pants which are only a little tight around the hips and wildly too short because he knows this unsettled feeling will only be worse if he goes home to nothing and no one. He let himself get used to company, to another presence, and that's gone so now what?
Now this, he supposes. He's got to learn to walk on shifting sands again.
Cobb crawls into bed while Fenris is downstairs and lays down on his back, staring up at the ceiling. He makes the choice not to fill the silence with words even if he feels like he should explain or make an excuse for his behavior.
no subject
But when he slips into bed as well, he moves to lay on his side, back to the man to allow him the chance to spoon him if he wishes, opening his book to try and read while they do so.
"My good friend Rue has a bookclub, I am working on my reading for it," he says after a while to fill the silence. "It is easier for me to read outloud, I hope that will not disturb you."
no subject
That unmoored feeling came back hard but Cobb takes a deep breath and buries it like he buries the anger and pain he carries daily.
"Don't mind. You do what you need. Just gonna try and sleep." Cobb settles more on his back and closes his eyes. He'll drift off eventually just because of alcohol and exhaustion.
In the morning, he'll make breakfast for Fenris to pay him back for this hospitality.
no subject
But slowly, very slowly, he reads outloud, "There are few people whom I really love, and still fewer of whom I think well. The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it; and every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of merit or sense," sometimes he stumbles over words, sometimes he doesn't, but he gets through it slowly.
Eventually, he will set aside the book and curl up with Cobb and sleep. He will be grateful for the breakfast in the morning, but the air will be different. How could it not be. But that was a problem for another day.