[Steven is looking forward to spending some time with Fenris again outside of the chaos of trials, which he's noticed is becoming a pattern as of late. Given what happened the trial before this last one, he wouldn't blame Fenris for avoiding Steven, though he is worried he's done something to offend him. He hopes that isn't the case.
He's at the pub the following evening as mentioned, grabbing a table near the back for some privacy. He has a pint of something refreshing between nervous hands as he looks up, keeping alert for Fenris while enjoying the general atmosphere of this place. He's always found the Pony charming.]
[Fenris arrives, plucking a white feather from his hair as he walks into the pub. Upon seeing catching Steven's eyes, he nods a greeting before going up to the bar and ordering something. After a moment, he makes his way to the table with a pint of wine. He's so classy.
At least he's not drinking straight from the bottle.]
Good evening, Steven.
[Taking a seat, he takes a swig of his wine and looks at the other man.]
[His smile brightens upon seeing Fenris and he offers a little wave too as the elf joins him. Steven eyes that large pint of wine of all things, though he isn't one to judge. He knows Fenris well enough by now to understand his preferred drink.]
Please, it's no bother. [He waves a hand dismissively though it's clear he's eager to talk, his smile warm and friendly.] I don't mean to corner you either, really, but our last meeting was so... unfortunate and brief, and you're my friend, so I wanted to check in.
I see.. [He's used to Rue and Hawke checking in, now Cobb from time to time, but not anyone else. It's a new sensation really.]
I did not feel cornered, merely curious your intentions, but it seems I thought too much into what was merely a friendly gesture. [It was apologetic, for him at least, as he takes a drink of wine.] I am well, attempting to find something to do with myself each day, as they drag on if I do not.
[It's odd finding fast friends in this world when they aren't used to building connections so easily, and Steven understands more than he lets on. He wasn't so popular back home and even though he's been in Folkmore over a year now, he's still not used to people caring so much sometimes. Not beyond those he already knew, anyway.]
I hope you know I'm always trying to be friendly. I've no reason to feel any other way toward you. [A small smile lingers on his lips, though as he thinks back to the last few months, he feels a little guilty. He could have made a better effort as well.] There's a lot we haven't talked about but... I know not everything is, erm... comfortable.
[Hell, they've never even talked about Steven and Hawke being an item, though Steven wouldn't want to assume Fenris would be bothered by that. He's sure if the elf was upset Steven would've known by now.
He fidgets a bit before taking a drink of his own.] I know what you mean. I've built up a routine here but even that can feel stagnant some days. Not that I want more trials to shake things up. [He wrinkles his nose at that.] This last one was... unpleasant overall, wasn't it?
[More fidgeting, and now it's Steven's turn to feel incredibly awkward before he says quietly:] I hope you don't think too terribly of me after-... you know. Garrett was so upset for so many weeks because of me, but I'm glad he had you as a friend at his side.
I will endeavor to keep that in mind next time you reach out to me. [He gives a nod as he takes another drink of his wine. If he's honest, he doesn't want to talk about the uncomfortable things, that's what the Fox wants him to do too, but he sighs and gives a nod, consenting to whatever the man wishes to speak about.]
It was indeed, I do not wish for a repeated performance.
[THe change in topic though makes him lift an eyesbrow, curious but not judgmental. Well... maybe a little. He's Fenris afterall.] I have no reason to think ill of you, though if you continue to hold secrets from him and make this as a trend in your relationship to hurt him, then I will.
It's cruel... the things she forces us to share, to see. No one should have to reveal such private memories without consent. [He says that with a firm nod, his eyes flickering down to his beer almost guiltily.] I just wanted you to know I'm sorry for what happened. I didn't exactly pass that particular test, did I? Back then. I know it's been some time now.
[Steven doesn't necessarily want to bring up old traumas either here, but as long as Fenris knows Steven doesn't judge him for anything he saw... he hopes to make that clear. There's no great way at bringing it up though, is there?
His eyes meet Fenris again shortly after though, nodding with a sheepish sort of smile, his shoulders a bit hunched.]
I won't. Not anymore. It's complicated but- but I'm grateful he's forgiven me. I learned my lesson quite clearly. [His eyes soften some, fingers rubbing restlessly at the condensation on his glass.] He's a good man, isn't he?
You did not, no. But that is fine. As soon as I saw you in my dream I knew it would not come to pass the way it needed to. You are too kind for what needed to be done. [He waves away the guilt though, he doesn't sound accusatory.]
Your kindness is a virtue that men like him abuse. Some people merely need to die to be stopped, I wish I could watch him suffer for a lifetime, but that would never stop him I had to be satisfied with his death alone.
[Not that he thinks Steven will understand. He's too kind. Too gentle. Almost frustratingly so. But the topic of Hawke softens Fenris some.]
He is. I am glad you will treasure him and what you have, he deserves happiness as much as you do.
[Steven is relieved to have Fenris' understanding without having to explain what he's talking about outright. He is definitely an open book who is happy to talk about such things, but Fenris isn't, and his past is his own to protect, so Steven would never push. Still, it felt wrong to go so long without acknowledging what he saw. The image of his younger selves chained up and bound to some horrible magister's will, physically and emotionally, was horrible.]
The world you come from is so different from mine. Even from the books and stories I've heard, it seems like killing is often a solution we wouldn't have where I come from. [He looks a bit sheepish explaining as such, knowing he's comparing apples to oranges.]
You're a good man too, Fenris. If I can be bold enough to say so. [He offers the elf a soft, genuine smile. From what little he's seen of Fenris' past, or heard about from Hawke, it's clear he's come very far and made a life for himself. It's wonderful to see.]
I heard you've been finding some... happiness of your own. [He can't help but smile brighter then, not wanting to be full of doom and gloom.] Well, Garrett told me you've been seeing someone, is that right?
I believe the world I come from, death is often the solution because imprisonment is... inefficient most often. Not always, but often.
[Even if they could have made his master Tranquil, he had enough power and connections that such things could have been reversed. He doesn't doubt it. That or the man would have had himself killed.
His mouth twists but he nods at the comment that he's a good man. He wouldn't say he is, but he's not about to argue it either.]
Ah, Hawke often has a mouth on him. Yes, my partner and I are keeping it quiet, but I'm indeed in a relationship despite wishing to leave this place. But we are of similar ilk and understand that when our chance to go home comes, we will be go our separate ways.
[He's genuinely curious, always happy to learn more about Thedas and different perspectives. It is different to read from a book versus hear Hawke's views, or Fenris'. They've both lived very different lives within the same world.
Steven gestures toward his mouth as if he's zipping his lips, smiling wider as a result.]
My lips are sealed, mate. I had no idea you two were getting so close but I can see why you'd be a fine match. Cobb is... a good man, from what I know. He's much closer to Marc than me though.
Depends. Both would be applicable, but it could be either one easily enough. The other fate my master could have gotten would to be made Tranquil. But that feels like a kindness while for him it would be a fate worse than death.
[Fenris shrugs. Though he doubts someone as powerful as his master could actually be made Tranquil. There is a very real reality that he would have escaped that fate somehow.
Death was the only guarantee.
He raises an eyebrow at the gesture.]
We were mere friends who fucked, but alas, feelings got involved and we made to do something about it. [Blunt as always.] He is a very good man though. I am unsure why he developed feelings for me when i am nothing but sharp edges, but I will take the grace given to me.
Oh, of course. [His brows knit together with worry at the mention of Tranquility because he knows exactly what that means now, having seen it in one of Hawke's nightmares the other month. Terribly cruel.] From what I've heard and seen, that sounds like... torture. True torture.
[God, the thought alone has an uncomfortable shiver running down his spine. While magic is very cool and amazing to Steven, the darker sides of it have become very apparent to him the more he learns about Thedas.
He was taking a sip of his beer when Fenris so plainly describes his relationship with Cobb, and while he really shouldn't be surprised by his friend's candidness anymore, the dry tone of voice is far too funny. He doesn't quite choke but he definitely gulps down too much too fast, turning his face into his arm as he coughs and coughs, face turning scarlet.]
Oh my days- [His voice is tight and strained from the effort, and then he's laughing, a bubbly sound he's clearly embarrassed by.] I mean- well. Why wouldn't he? You're sharp but also a loyal friend, I'd say. And very handsome. [Steven's smile grows.] I'd say he's a lucky man.
I used to think it necessary, but since knowing Hawke, both my own and Garrett, I feel... differently.
[That's about as deep as he was willing to go into it. The idea of either becoming tranquil was a horrifying thought. He wouldn't want it for them, it makes him hesitate to wish it on other mages... unless they definitely deserve it, like his master.
He raises an eyebrow at the mention of him being handsome. He smirks a little.]
Thank you, I'll take your compliment to heart. And I think it is I who is lucky, another could have had him but he chose me ultimately. I will take my luck as it is.
[He smiles a bit at that. Steven knows how Fenris feels about mages so him saying this is a big deal. He wonders if Fenris felt differently when he first met Marian.]
That's so sweet. [He chuckles, so fond over this situation. Steven and Cobb don't really get along much - nothing harsh or overly abrasive, but he's more friendly with Marc than him - but he knows Cobb is a good man.] Despite mixed feelings about this place, everyone deserves to find whatever bit of happiness they can. It may be temporary but... we don't know how long we'll be here, so may as well hold onto the good with both hands, yeah?
[Fenris sits with that for a second drinking some more wine before saying anything. It was temporary and he might not even remember it, he could lose Cobb tomorrow or a year from now, but...]
I suppose so, yes. I am grateful for those I have met though I do not plan to play kindly to her tricks any longer. I find myself at my wits end with her and her trials. No matter what that means for me.
[He looks tired, but not the kind that's ready to give up, the kind that is being cornered and ready to lash out even if it means death.]
[Thirteen and her trials can be very hit or miss, but when they're bad, they're bad. Steven will never get the image of Layla bleeding out in his arms out of his head, or seeing Hawke Tranquil, or Marc scared and overheated from the desert. No amount of silliness or sudden magical ability will make up for the bad.]
Sometimes... I wonder what would happen if we all collectively decided not to play along anymore. [His voice grows hushed admitting as much, hunching in closer to the table as if he's worried about being overheard.] What would she do if we simply laid down and said no?
[Steven is admittedly complacent in some ways himself but he knows, at the end of the day, that this isn't where he wants to be for the rest of his life. He doesn't want anyone to be if they aren't staying willingly.]
That's the difficult thing, isn't it? Not everyone agrees. [A soft smile there, almost resigned.] I'll admit when it's peaceful here it's quite nice. Some people don't have much of a life to return to, so I understand their perspective too but...
[He shakes his head some.] Not every prison is so apparent.
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text; un: giftshopist
I was wondering if you'd be free to grab a drink sometime soon. It's been ages, hasn't it?
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it has been yes i think we are due for a drink and evening to speak
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I'm happy to meet you at The Prancing Pony if you'd like, unless you prefer somewhere new.
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text > action!
[Steven is looking forward to spending some time with Fenris again outside of the chaos of trials, which he's noticed is becoming a pattern as of late. Given what happened the trial before this last one, he wouldn't blame Fenris for avoiding Steven, though he is worried he's done something to offend him. He hopes that isn't the case.
He's at the pub the following evening as mentioned, grabbing a table near the back for some privacy. He has a pint of something refreshing between nervous hands as he looks up, keeping alert for Fenris while enjoying the general atmosphere of this place. He's always found the Pony charming.]
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At least he's not drinking straight from the bottle.]
Good evening, Steven.
[Taking a seat, he takes a swig of his wine and looks at the other man.]
Apologies for my... distance.
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Please, it's no bother. [He waves a hand dismissively though it's clear he's eager to talk, his smile warm and friendly.] I don't mean to corner you either, really, but our last meeting was so... unfortunate and brief, and you're my friend, so I wanted to check in.
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I did not feel cornered, merely curious your intentions, but it seems I thought too much into what was merely a friendly gesture. [It was apologetic, for him at least, as he takes a drink of wine.] I am well, attempting to find something to do with myself each day, as they drag on if I do not.
And yourself?
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I hope you know I'm always trying to be friendly. I've no reason to feel any other way toward you. [A small smile lingers on his lips, though as he thinks back to the last few months, he feels a little guilty. He could have made a better effort as well.] There's a lot we haven't talked about but... I know not everything is, erm... comfortable.
[Hell, they've never even talked about Steven and Hawke being an item, though Steven wouldn't want to assume Fenris would be bothered by that. He's sure if the elf was upset Steven would've known by now.
He fidgets a bit before taking a drink of his own.] I know what you mean. I've built up a routine here but even that can feel stagnant some days. Not that I want more trials to shake things up. [He wrinkles his nose at that.] This last one was... unpleasant overall, wasn't it?
[More fidgeting, and now it's Steven's turn to feel incredibly awkward before he says quietly:] I hope you don't think too terribly of me after-... you know. Garrett was so upset for so many weeks because of me, but I'm glad he had you as a friend at his side.
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It was indeed, I do not wish for a repeated performance.
[THe change in topic though makes him lift an eyesbrow, curious but not judgmental. Well... maybe a little. He's Fenris afterall.] I have no reason to think ill of you, though if you continue to hold secrets from him and make this as a trend in your relationship to hurt him, then I will.
But I respect Hawke's choice to forgive you.
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[Steven doesn't necessarily want to bring up old traumas either here, but as long as Fenris knows Steven doesn't judge him for anything he saw... he hopes to make that clear. There's no great way at bringing it up though, is there?
His eyes meet Fenris again shortly after though, nodding with a sheepish sort of smile, his shoulders a bit hunched.]
I won't. Not anymore. It's complicated but- but I'm grateful he's forgiven me. I learned my lesson quite clearly. [His eyes soften some, fingers rubbing restlessly at the condensation on his glass.] He's a good man, isn't he?
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Your kindness is a virtue that men like him abuse. Some people merely need to die to be stopped, I wish I could watch him suffer for a lifetime, but that would never stop him I had to be satisfied with his death alone.
[Not that he thinks Steven will understand. He's too kind. Too gentle. Almost frustratingly so. But the topic of Hawke softens Fenris some.]
He is. I am glad you will treasure him and what you have, he deserves happiness as much as you do.
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The world you come from is so different from mine. Even from the books and stories I've heard, it seems like killing is often a solution we wouldn't have where I come from. [He looks a bit sheepish explaining as such, knowing he's comparing apples to oranges.]
You're a good man too, Fenris. If I can be bold enough to say so. [He offers the elf a soft, genuine smile. From what little he's seen of Fenris' past, or heard about from Hawke, it's clear he's come very far and made a life for himself. It's wonderful to see.]
I heard you've been finding some... happiness of your own. [He can't help but smile brighter then, not wanting to be full of doom and gloom.] Well, Garrett told me you've been seeing someone, is that right?
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[Even if they could have made his master Tranquil, he had enough power and connections that such things could have been reversed. He doesn't doubt it. That or the man would have had himself killed.
His mouth twists but he nods at the comment that he's a good man. He wouldn't say he is, but he's not about to argue it either.]
Ah, Hawke often has a mouth on him. Yes, my partner and I are keeping it quiet, but I'm indeed in a relationship despite wishing to leave this place. But we are of similar ilk and understand that when our chance to go home comes, we will be go our separate ways.
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[He's genuinely curious, always happy to learn more about Thedas and different perspectives. It is different to read from a book versus hear Hawke's views, or Fenris'. They've both lived very different lives within the same world.
Steven gestures toward his mouth as if he's zipping his lips, smiling wider as a result.]
My lips are sealed, mate. I had no idea you two were getting so close but I can see why you'd be a fine match. Cobb is... a good man, from what I know. He's much closer to Marc than me though.
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[Fenris shrugs. Though he doubts someone as powerful as his master could actually be made Tranquil. There is a very real reality that he would have escaped that fate somehow.
Death was the only guarantee.
He raises an eyebrow at the gesture.]
We were mere friends who fucked, but alas, feelings got involved and we made to do something about it. [Blunt as always.] He is a very good man though. I am unsure why he developed feelings for me when i am nothing but sharp edges, but I will take the grace given to me.
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[God, the thought alone has an uncomfortable shiver running down his spine. While magic is very cool and amazing to Steven, the darker sides of it have become very apparent to him the more he learns about Thedas.
He was taking a sip of his beer when Fenris so plainly describes his relationship with Cobb, and while he really shouldn't be surprised by his friend's candidness anymore, the dry tone of voice is far too funny. He doesn't quite choke but he definitely gulps down too much too fast, turning his face into his arm as he coughs and coughs, face turning scarlet.]
Oh my days- [His voice is tight and strained from the effort, and then he's laughing, a bubbly sound he's clearly embarrassed by.] I mean- well. Why wouldn't he? You're sharp but also a loyal friend, I'd say. And very handsome. [Steven's smile grows.] I'd say he's a lucky man.
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[That's about as deep as he was willing to go into it. The idea of either becoming tranquil was a horrifying thought. He wouldn't want it for them, it makes him hesitate to wish it on other mages... unless they definitely deserve it, like his master.
He raises an eyebrow at the mention of him being handsome. He smirks a little.]
Thank you, I'll take your compliment to heart. And I think it is I who is lucky, another could have had him but he chose me ultimately. I will take my luck as it is.
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That's so sweet. [He chuckles, so fond over this situation. Steven and Cobb don't really get along much - nothing harsh or overly abrasive, but he's more friendly with Marc than him - but he knows Cobb is a good man.] Despite mixed feelings about this place, everyone deserves to find whatever bit of happiness they can. It may be temporary but... we don't know how long we'll be here, so may as well hold onto the good with both hands, yeah?
[That's definitely what Steven is doing.]
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[Fenris sits with that for a second drinking some more wine before saying anything. It was temporary and he might not even remember it, he could lose Cobb tomorrow or a year from now, but...]
I suppose so, yes. I am grateful for those I have met though I do not plan to play kindly to her tricks any longer. I find myself at my wits end with her and her trials. No matter what that means for me.
[He looks tired, but not the kind that's ready to give up, the kind that is being cornered and ready to lash out even if it means death.]
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[Thirteen and her trials can be very hit or miss, but when they're bad, they're bad. Steven will never get the image of Layla bleeding out in his arms out of his head, or seeing Hawke Tranquil, or Marc scared and overheated from the desert. No amount of silliness or sudden magical ability will make up for the bad.]
Sometimes... I wonder what would happen if we all collectively decided not to play along anymore. [His voice grows hushed admitting as much, hunching in closer to the table as if he's worried about being overheard.] What would she do if we simply laid down and said no?
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It might be the only way to one day rise against her, but there are too many of us who are complacent with this situation and her treatment.
[He sighs and takes another gulp of wine.
How do we make those who don't want to change things stand up against her?
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That's the difficult thing, isn't it? Not everyone agrees. [A soft smile there, almost resigned.] I'll admit when it's peaceful here it's quite nice. Some people don't have much of a life to return to, so I understand their perspective too but...
[He shakes his head some.] Not every prison is so apparent.
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