[Fenris listens to the letter carefully, not saying a word as Xenk reads the whole thing to him. He appreciates that the man does so instead of paraphrasing it, though part of him can't help but think that it should be obvious that Xenk would do exactly as he was asked.
There's a small smile when Xenk's sense of humor and how he finishes the letter exactly as is written. It's a smile he doesn't hide or let get drowned in his normally frowny attitude, letting Xenk see that he found it amusing.
Then he takes the letter again and looks it over with a nod, folding it and tucking it away.]
First, you did not know, so I do not fault you. Slaves... are not often afforded such freedoms as being literate. [He thinks this is the first time he's explicitly told the other man he was a slave, but he doesn't linger long on it, moving forward to address the letter.]
Second, to pen my reply... [He pauses for a moment before continuing.]
Dearest Xenk.. [He gives the man a smirk, something amused.
But then he turns more serious, bringing his hand to his chin in thought as he thinks deeply over the situation at hand.] I can see how these issues with the paladins would cause you grief, you are a very righteous and noble man, it is natural how it wouldn't sit right with you to witness the common injustices of a corrupt system..
But this is a great undertaking, are you certain you're up for the task? I have seen a man rise from nothing into a hero and the world turn on him for it.. I cannot say it will not happen again to you. I would not wish to see it happen to you, but to find yourself separating from the pack and making a name for yourself like this...
Though in the same breath, I find myself interested. [He hasn't really broken eye contact with Xenk this whole time, not til this moment when he pauses to look at his own hands.] Independence.. freedom, to not be conscripted to an armada that I have no loyalty to... Instead to be part of a group formed by our own hands, loyalty to those who've earned it.
Whom else have you asked?
[He realizes he's talked a lot when he looks at Xenk once more. Maybe he did just write a letter to the man outloud. It wasn't intentional, but.. may as well sign it.]
[ Xenk's smile is bright and honest as Fenris 'pens' his reply to him. It's wonderful to see such joy in his face, but even better still to hear of his thoughts and feelings on the matter. Xenk always writes his words honestly, so he finds the similar honesty in Fenris' words to be refreshing.
It is a true shame to hear that Fenris had been a slave in his world. He had not said as much in so many words, though it is of course in the past. Better to forge ahead in the future. His opinions on freedom and the experiences he'd described take on greater context with this knowledge, but change nothing in how Xenk sees the man. ]
Dear Fenris, [ He smirks. Oh, no, they're doing this now. ]
If indeed the world should turn against me for wishing to seek justice in such a way that abides by neither faction, then so be it. I would do so with great allies by my side, and theirs are hearts and words that I value more than even... more than most anything that I know.
[ He can't admit that they're more important to him than his Oath. It's still a hard match to make. But still. ]
It is my hope to seek true independence from the armadas we have been conscripted to. However in the interim, it seems we would have little choice but to fly an Armada's colors to avoid any undue issues. I would sooner fly under the Corsair banner than seek justice under the Paladin's false laws, lest you worry.
[ He's that serious. ]
As for whom I have asked, I reached out to Astarion, as he is a dear friend and one I know values freedom highly as well. I know you are both well-acquainted, so I hope to strengthen our bonds of camaraderie in seeking the both of you.
[ Camaraderie and. I mean. He doesn't know that Fenris and Astarion are fucking, but he knows they're close enough that Astarion was choked up about him leaving, so that has to be a very close friendship. ]
I am happy to answer any questions you may have, before you agree to anything further.
[ He is 100% doing this on purpose, he doesn't see why not, honestly. Fenris is clearly capable of writing a letter, even if he lacks the literacy to put the words to paper. ]
[Ah, so they were doing this now, huh? Fine, so be it, Fenris can play this game. What had started as a joke becomes something honest and fun between them. Fenris has always wanted to pen a letter, but being illiterate has prevented such, so getting to do it out-loud and have it done in return, well.. he won't lie, he feels delightfully indulged.
Pumpkin who is rather in tune with his actual feelings starts to purr a little.]
Dear Xenk, [Oh yes, he was absolutely meeting this with the same energy. It was fun, there was no reason to stop.]
I find myself shocked to hear that you feel strongly enough to rather fly under the colors of the Corsairs than the Paladins, but the more I think on the matter, I can understand why your convictions might lead you to such. Despite being thieves, cut-throats, and unjust, they are loyal, true, and have an ethical code that they stick to despite all that. When I found myself in the gallows, not once but thrice [He frowns more when admitting that, clearly displeased] not once did I get left behind by my fellow Corsairs.
[Not once. It was surprising, he barely knew them, one he didn't know at all, yet he found himself escaping with his life each time. He has no loyalty to his armada, but he did have a respect for them.]
Though in honesty, that might have been the people more than the armada.
[He pauses in thought, taking a long moment to compose the next part while also thinking over things.]
I too value your heart and words more than I value most things, the same with Astarion, whom I value most dearly and am glad to hear may be joining us on this venture, as you can count me in on it. My loyalties belong to people I choose more than to the organizations I have been forced to join. I would be most curious to see this through.
[Another small private smile that is fleeting at best, but he means it. If there is to be loyalties placed, he would gladly place them with Xenk and Astarion.]
As for questions I might have.. you spoke of an oath? May I ask the nature of it? I cannot imagine you taking anything so lightly as an oath and would not wish to have it be a possible point of contention in this venture.
[An oath is something he knows he would take seriously and that Xenk would take even more seriously than even him, so the idea that he's not heard about this yet is a little concerning.
And to finish his letter of course, he must sign off:]
[ Xenk smiles, reaching a hand out for Fenris to take. Maybe he just wants to hold hands, okay! ]
My dear, Fenris,
[ The words start out strong again, he means them as ever. ]
I fear I must apologize for the continued pratfalls that the Paladins continue to allow among their number. It is an unfortunately common tale that those who seek to create order so often fail to maintain it within their own number. I had hoped for the best, and that this world would prove different, but I can see now that this is not so. It is as you say, there is loyalty to be found at times, among those whose hearts drive them more toward thievery and survival. While I do not share the morals and beliefs found in the Corsairs, I have never once looked down on their member. The same cannot be said for the Paladins as an order, I fear, and this is the heart to which I cannot so easily redress.
[ He's conflicted, in other words. The Paladins look down on the Corsairs, and they act like they know best, but they obviously haven't listened to Xenk's own complaints, or addressed the matter of their rogue Paladins... But he doesn't let the worry darken his features for long. How could he, when Fenris has agreed to help him? ]
I am blessed to find your favor, as well as the support from you both in this endeavor.
[ He smiles. He really is so lucky to have such good friends! Because they're definitely. Good friends. Very good friends! ]
Of course! My Oath of Devotion. I fear this explanation may become somewhat verbose, so I apologize... perhaps it is better I sign off here, and spare you my explanation in person.
[ He thinks he's sooo funny. ]
Most fortunately, Xenk.
[ Ok, but that done, he clears his throat. ]
As for my Oath. In my world, a paladin is but one of many classes that one may choose in order to wield magic or use one's powers to fight the realm's many dangers. What sets paladins apart from fighters is the Oath we swear in exchange for divine intercession. Among these is the Oath of the Ancients, which is made to the gods of the Earth, and binds paladins to seek the betterment of the land and nature. As well, there are Oaths of Redemption, of Conquest, and Vengeance for gods whom are more aligned with fury and destruction. My own Oath, the Oath of Devotion, is one I swore to Tyr, god of justice. It decrees that I follow the tenets of devotion, which are as follows:
[ He recites these by heart, of course: ]
Honesty. A paladin's oath is only as strong as their word. Their word shall never utter deceptions or falsehoods. Courage. One must warning with their actions, but never let those actions be halted by fright or panic. Compassion. I shall ever offer succor and safe haven to those that cannot defend themselves. And stand strong against their tormentors and practice forbearance when wise to do so. Honor. One must conduct one's affairs in a manner that exemplifies virtuous integrity to the world. Ensure that the good deeds I perform always outweigh any inadvertent grief I may cause. And lastly, duty. It decrees that one must follow justly those to whom one serves, ensure ownership of all one's deeds, and guard with one's life those whom one has sworn to watch over.
[ And this is the story of how he will kill for anyone he's ever met. ]
Should I ever fail in one of these, then my magic is withheld from me, and my oath is considered broken. But so long as I remain true to these tenets, I am blessed with Tyr's magic and his blessings upon my person.
[The hand is unexpected, but he takes it nonetheless. For someone so touch adverse, he notices that both with Xenk and Astarion he he finds himself often indulging in the very thing he usually avoids. It was strange, yet not. Isabela and Hawke, even Varric, would pat him on the back or grab his shoulder, they would do friendly gestures once they got on good enough terms. So perhaps indulging some hand holding isn't so strange.
Friends hold hands.
He listens, as he ever does, carefully to everything Xenk says. There is a light chuckle at the ridiculousness of the sign off before the man explains himself further. It would seem their little game was over, which was fine, it was entertaining but perhaps a little foolish.
Maybe one day he will learn well enough to read to write his own letters.
Still, he listens attentively to the explanation of the Oath and.. it feels off to him. If he is understanding correctly, he does not doubt that were able Sebastian would be a paladin of the Maker, his devotion was so strong, but-- This oath sounds almost like indentured servitude, willing entered and agreed to, yes.. but to have to adhere to such strict principals or get what was given taken from you. It almost makes him feel like Xenk is a thrall to this Tyr.]
And you.. willingly entered into this Oath with your Tyr?
[He looks a little conflicted, but otherwise tries to keep his uncomfortable emotions to himself. It seemed like freedom, but in reality, to Fenris, it was just a long leash and it didn't sit right with him at all.
Perhaps he should speak to Astarion about it, this was outside his understanding and he didn't want to upset Xenk too much by questioning something he obviously holds as very important to himself.]
[ Friend seek comfort in touch, and Xenk is no different. For all his eccentricities, he enjoys the warmth of another. Perhaps it is his undying nature that draws him so to another's warmth. Or perhaps 100+ years of traveling the land has made him more cognizant and appreciative of what physical touch he can claim. ]
Of course. It is an honor to be found worthy of his blessing. My Oath is the holy fire on which my magic is forged. I wear my devotion proudly. It rallies to others the clear proof of my intent.
[ Xenk, after all, finds nothing strange about his Oath. They are as common to him as the rising of the sun and the breeze on the wind. And tells everyone around him that he's a stick in the mud, basically!! I mean, sure, it can feel like a leash at times but those times are so rare, Xenk wouldn't want to bother Fenris with them. ]
I apologize, I find at times that I can be quite verbose when explaining topics of which I am particularly knowledgeable of. I did not intend for our discussion to stray from the matter at hand.
[ That is, the topic of his letter, and the writing besides.... ]
My letter, and the invitation therein. I am honored to have your assistance, and, if it would not be too bold, would--
[ He squeezes Fenris' hand gently. He doesn't need to be so proper with Fenris, at least not all the time, does he? They're friends. ]
Would you like me to help you, with learning to read and write? I would not presume over your wants or needs, but I find the practice of writing letters to be quite enjoyable.
[Not only was it a willing oath, but it was something he found honour in. He can understand the way it would make him a beacon of good, that other's could see clearly and trust, but did that not just--
No. Maybe Fenris needed more information about this, needed to better understand. He did not want to offend his friend by questioning him so directly, especially about something he feels such value for - he knows that if his own values were questioned he would grow defensive and irritated. And while he does not see that happening with Xenk, he also did not want his friend to feel disregarded for his values.
He would think on it and perhaps go to Astarion about it. Try to gain an understanding from someone with an outside perspective.]
There is nothing to apologize for, I wish to fully understand your oath and what it means to you. I do appreciate your verbose candor.
[He did appreciate it, he asked and is glad that Xenk thought to share it all with him gladly. Many might have seen to say less and confuse him more. He wants to understand, it's why he's struggling to.
The squeeze to his hand and the offer take him by surprise, his eyebrows going up for a second, but soon they settle and a warmth spreads to Fenris' ears. He had asked Daria for some help in this area, in getting him books so he could learn, but to be offered to be taught?
It's been a while, since Hawke, but he finds himself nodding at the unexpected kindness. It was almost too much.]
If it isn't much trouble I would be grateful to learn. Letter writing seems to be a staple here and.. [He feels lost on that aspect] An acquaintance has helped me acquire books to help me learn but I find myself... still struggling on my own.
[A pause, then he squeezes the man's hand back.] If you wish to assist me, I would insist to repay you for this kindness.
[ Xenk nods, smiling at Fenris' acceptance and understanding. He has not met many who appreciate just how wordy he can get. Xenk is well-aware that it is annoying for some, so he is happy to hear Fenris is not among that number. ]
It must seem strange, to those from a different world.
[ Especially one like Fenris', where the gods have gone missing or are said to not exist. Yes, surely this is the part that's weird. Well, anyway.
The real matter at hand is Xenk's offer. It's been many, many years since Xenk learned his letters, but he's ventured high and low across the land, and taught and learned more languages than just Common. ]
It would be no trouble at all. It would be an honor, in fact. And an excellent reason to travel Nogard, which I am ever happy to visit.
[ So many of his friends are there!! But Xenk almost smirks at Fenris' insistence of repayment. He twines their fingers together because he finds that offer extremely endearing. ]
Having heard my Oath, you know that no such repayment would be necessary. You are my friend, Fenris. My offer is without any expectation.
I admit yes, it seems strange, especially considering religion is very different from your world and mine.
[But he doesn't linger long on that, instead moving on from it rather readily, because he has to think on it and what discomforts him about this Oath, how it feels indentured to him. Yet he knows it is likely a difference in worlds, a lack of understanding between them, because Xenk does not act indentured or pressed upon by his god. Not like Fenris would think he would if it was any different.
Still, that was something to think on, perhaps discuss with Astarion.
He can't stop himself from the small curl of lips into a smile as he feels the man twine their fingers together, giving them a squeeze when it's done. The refusal of repayment is not surprising in the least, but he still finds it in himself to want to repay the other man for this, not wanting to be in his debt. Even if he knows Xenk would never call on that debt.]
Then I shall have to think of a way to repay you by a means of which you cannot refuse.
[He knows that Xenk does not need to eat, he gathered that much from their time together, but perhaps he can figure out what he likes to indulge in and Fenris will make it.]
If there is something you particularly enjoy indulging in, I would be glad to provide it during our lessons together.
With the absent gods your world, it must be different indeed.
[ But Xenk values differences, and finds Fenris' worries to be endearing more than anything. Just as Fenris insists on repayment, it's just another thing that proves his kindness, and Xenk could never fault him for being a kind, honest person. ]
It is not often I indulge.
[ But he says this lightly, more an inside joke for himself than anything. The truth is of course that he indulges quite a bit. He does not need to eat, but he does. He does not drink to excess, but he still imbibes. Well, and now he has a pet cat. Little things that he justifies as being part of the "human" experience. He would not deprive himself of them, nor concern others with his lack of need.
And he can't exactly ask to be paid in kisses or something like that, unless Fenris offered it first... ]
I shall need to think of something, as it is not my intent to make you indebted to me.
[ Ah, but the letters might be the answer. Xenk does enjoy proper ink and parchment. Who can say, really... ]
[Fenris wouldn't call himself a kind person, not with his track record. He is honest though.
The light way that Xenk says it, it makes him wonder what the joke it, though he doesn't ask. He's often not privy to many jokes, not that it doesn't bother him. His own jokes often fly over some heads because he says them so seriously, his dry sarcasm often not sounding any different from anything else he says.
It does occur to him, he knows that Xenk is a type of undead too, much like Astarion... perhaps--]
Xenk, you mentioned before that you are.. partially undead, yes? [He lowers his voice very carefully, making sure this is truly between the two of them alone.]
Are you also sustained by consuming blood? I do not mind offering my own if so.
[He would warn the man of the affects and a part of him wonders if Astarion might not want to share that aspect with another, but he will cross those bridges when the time comes.]
[ Xenk nods, unsure of where Fenris is going with his question. Then he speaks his offer and.
Xenk needs a moment to. Hear all those words and put them in an order that makes sense. His smile remains, though his head tilts to the side in confusion. He blinks, the gears in his head clearly turning.
Fenris would not offer something he didn't mean. And he clearly means what he's offering, which gives Xenk pause... oh, it's because he's so close with Astarion, isn't it? This would explain much. Xenk hasn't inquired as to Astarion's blood supply since the first time they discussed it, but he knows that he must be feeding from some of the Corsairs, if it hasn't been a problem again. ]
I am flattered by your generous offer, Fenris.
[ And he is! It's a very big deal to offer one's lifeblood as payment. It isn't something Xenk would take unless he truly had to, but it's deeply flattering. ]
However, I am able to ingest mortal food, and do not consume blood as our mutual friend does.
[ He still doesn't say his name because he's that serious about his secret. ]
[Ah, so it seems then that Xenk knows about Astarion, perhaps because it was hardly something Astarion thought to tell Fenris to keep it a secret, but he finds himself unsurprised. The two seem close, at least enough to be inviting him to the crew as well. He wouldn't be surprised if they were sleeping together as well, though he doesn't assume as much, he just knows well enough not to assume he is their only bed companion.
Nor is he bothered by it.]
Ah, I see.. [There was some embarrassment.] I was unsure how undead in your world work, as they are but mindless husks or spirits in mine.
[All but the one, that was Hawke's mother, but he tries not to remember that abomination of pain and suffering that was nothing like his friends here. Another instance of terrible magic and the horrible ways it can be used...]
Then I shall make you what Thedas dishes I know as repayment initially, at least until such time that I can figure out a better method.
[ As fellow undead, they have much in common. But Xenk has sworn secrecy regarding Astarion's curse, which is a great sacrifice indeed when one has taken an oath of honesty.
Still, he could not possibly fault Fenris for not knowing the finer details between different kinds of undead. ]
You have nothing to compare to, I understand. In our case, the distinction is thus: a vampire must consume blood, while I am closer to what is called a zombie; a reanimated corpse. Though my condition is only partial, thus my body continues to operate as it should—I have a heartbeat, though it is slow, and do not specifically require food, though I am capable of consuming it.
[ He says these things so easily, like he's explaining how the grass grows or the sun shines. But Xenk still hopes his words don't put off Fenris—for all that he is blunt and honest, he's like this because he feels it's what his friends are owed. He squeezes his hand in return, smiling softly. ]
I shall look forward to it, then. I am ever happy to discover new things, and food is an excellent means with which to experience other cultures.
[Its a little off-putting, but it doesn't deter him from the other man, still holding his hand as if nothing has changed. He better understands now, but still finds the idea of his two closest friends here being undead a little uncomfortable. Perhaps because he doesn't fully understand how they can be so alive while also being dead, that the only time he saw an undead slightly life like that was undead was Hawke's mother..
Still, he cannot fault Astarion for his need for blood to survive or Xenk's lack of need for food. He's not about to change how he feels about his friends due to some very mild discomfort over something that was out of their control. This is just how they were, however that was. It was just another part of another world that didn't translate purely over to his own.
Honestly, it was just easier to not think of them as undead at all but as Astarion and Xenk without worrying about the details.
He gives a nod. Before he steps forward and gives Xenk a kiss.]
Then it would be my pleasure to cook what I know, though I do not know many recipes. Will have to think of something better for when I exercise the limit of my cooking knowledge.
[ That's the spirit, Fenris. Honestly, Xenk would at times prefer people did not think of him as undead, but since arriving here he's found that most people are understanding, so it's easier to simply be himself. It helps that he's got Astarion, who understands more than most can, but they still have different 'conditions' so it simply is what it is. Where Astarion has been in stasis for two centuries, Xenk has had his life slow to a crawl.
But being around friends, and loves besides, does help him feel alive in ways he hadn't thought he'd get to enjoy. So when that kiss from Fenris comes, he's both surprised and deeply grateful. He knows just how lucky he is to have a friend like him. Helping him with his literacy would be his pleasure, if only to show Fenris just how much he means to him. ]
Know that anything made by your hand would be the finest ambrosia for me, Fenris.
[ He moves his arm to wrap around Fenris' waist, leaning down to return the kiss in kind. ]
You are much too kind, and I would be fortunate indeed to have earned such care.
He feels... not blessed, but of that nature to know Xenk, to have had this chance to meet the man and get to know him. To care about him. He was a good friend and ally, something Fenris hasn't had much of in his life and for that he's grateful. And it explains why he might be concerned for the man, even if he does not express it.
He hopes the kiss conveys as much, if not, he's never been one to have trouble voicing his feelings at least. ]
You flatter me, but I did not work in the kitchens, if it's unbearable, please spit it out. [He means it, he doesn't have to worry about killing Xenk with his cooking really, but he knows it likely won't be fantastic.]
You are the one doing me a great kindness.. the shellphones help, but I find myself often at a disadvantage here without the skill to read.
You underestimate my ability to stomach even the strangest of foods. I have traveled Faerun for over a century, I mean this seriously -- you cannot make anything that would offend my tastebuds. Unless it happens to be entirely uncooked.
[ He's had that happen before! But also he seems happy to have Fenris' care and his counsel. Unfortunately, once you get closer to Xenk, his awful sense of humor starts to come out. He says things like this and then he's back to being serious. (He's always serious, just sometimes it's on purpose.) ]
Of course. It is a valuable skill, and one that many often take for granted. [ Reading and writing, even in Faerun, was not a given. ] When I first fled from Thay in my youth, I knew only how to read and write in Thayan script. The common language was known to me, but putting it to paper took some time. And it was not until years later that I learned the proper rules of grammar and recitation. I will ensure it does not take you years to master this.
Just because I can't kill you with my cooking does not mean you must bear it if it's unpalatable. [Fenris laughs, but he is glad to know that Xenk will not be opposed to pig oat mash since that is on the list of things he can make.
It wasn't a long list.
Still it was a list he was willing to explore to cook for the other man.
He follows the joke and back into seriousness rather easily at least, both used to it from Xenk and his own ability to go from sarcasm to joking with great ease. There was a reason it often took his friends back home a little bit of time to usually figure out if he was joking or not.]
Yes, I know that at least I have the vocabulary, if I can learn to associate the arranged letters to the word, it should be easy enough, but learning to read has been.. a difficult endeavor. One I was trying to learn with Hawke when I was back home.
But thank you. I will do my best to be a good student.
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There's a small smile when Xenk's sense of humor and how he finishes the letter exactly as is written. It's a smile he doesn't hide or let get drowned in his normally frowny attitude, letting Xenk see that he found it amusing.
Then he takes the letter again and looks it over with a nod, folding it and tucking it away.]
First, you did not know, so I do not fault you. Slaves... are not often afforded such freedoms as being literate. [He thinks this is the first time he's explicitly told the other man he was a slave, but he doesn't linger long on it, moving forward to address the letter.]
Second, to pen my reply... [He pauses for a moment before continuing.]
Dearest Xenk.. [He gives the man a smirk, something amused.
But then he turns more serious, bringing his hand to his chin in thought as he thinks deeply over the situation at hand.] I can see how these issues with the paladins would cause you grief, you are a very righteous and noble man, it is natural how it wouldn't sit right with you to witness the common injustices of a corrupt system..
But this is a great undertaking, are you certain you're up for the task? I have seen a man rise from nothing into a hero and the world turn on him for it.. I cannot say it will not happen again to you. I would not wish to see it happen to you, but to find yourself separating from the pack and making a name for yourself like this...
Though in the same breath, I find myself interested. [He hasn't really broken eye contact with Xenk this whole time, not til this moment when he pauses to look at his own hands.] Independence.. freedom, to not be conscripted to an armada that I have no loyalty to... Instead to be part of a group formed by our own hands, loyalty to those who've earned it.
Whom else have you asked?
[He realizes he's talked a lot when he looks at Xenk once more. Maybe he did just write a letter to the man outloud. It wasn't intentional, but.. may as well sign it.]
Sincerely yours, Fenris.
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It is a true shame to hear that Fenris had been a slave in his world. He had not said as much in so many words, though it is of course in the past. Better to forge ahead in the future. His opinions on freedom and the experiences he'd described take on greater context with this knowledge, but change nothing in how Xenk sees the man. ]
Dear Fenris, [ He smirks. Oh, no, they're doing this now. ]
If indeed the world should turn against me for wishing to seek justice in such a way that abides by neither faction, then so be it. I would do so with great allies by my side, and theirs are hearts and words that I value more than even... more than most anything that I know.
[ He can't admit that they're more important to him than his Oath. It's still a hard match to make. But still. ]
It is my hope to seek true independence from the armadas we have been conscripted to. However in the interim, it seems we would have little choice but to fly an Armada's colors to avoid any undue issues. I would sooner fly under the Corsair banner than seek justice under the Paladin's false laws, lest you worry.
[ He's that serious. ]
As for whom I have asked, I reached out to Astarion, as he is a dear friend and one I know values freedom highly as well. I know you are both well-acquainted, so I hope to strengthen our bonds of camaraderie in seeking the both of you.
[ Camaraderie and. I mean. He doesn't know that Fenris and Astarion are fucking, but he knows they're close enough that Astarion was choked up about him leaving, so that has to be a very close friendship. ]
I am happy to answer any questions you may have, before you agree to anything further.
[ He is 100% doing this on purpose, he doesn't see why not, honestly. Fenris is clearly capable of writing a letter, even if he lacks the literacy to put the words to paper. ]
Yours, Xenk.
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Pumpkin who is rather in tune with his actual feelings starts to purr a little.]
Dear Xenk, [Oh yes, he was absolutely meeting this with the same energy. It was fun, there was no reason to stop.]
I find myself shocked to hear that you feel strongly enough to rather fly under the colors of the Corsairs than the Paladins, but the more I think on the matter, I can understand why your convictions might lead you to such. Despite being thieves, cut-throats, and unjust, they are loyal, true, and have an ethical code that they stick to despite all that. When I found myself in the gallows, not once but thrice [He frowns more when admitting that, clearly displeased] not once did I get left behind by my fellow Corsairs.
[Not once. It was surprising, he barely knew them, one he didn't know at all, yet he found himself escaping with his life each time. He has no loyalty to his armada, but he did have a respect for them.]
Though in honesty, that might have been the people more than the armada.
[He pauses in thought, taking a long moment to compose the next part while also thinking over things.]
I too value your heart and words more than I value most things, the same with Astarion, whom I value most dearly and am glad to hear may be joining us on this venture, as you can count me in on it. My loyalties belong to people I choose more than to the organizations I have been forced to join. I would be most curious to see this through.
[Another small private smile that is fleeting at best, but he means it. If there is to be loyalties placed, he would gladly place them with Xenk and Astarion.]
As for questions I might have.. you spoke of an oath? May I ask the nature of it? I cannot imagine you taking anything so lightly as an oath and would not wish to have it be a possible point of contention in this venture.
[An oath is something he knows he would take seriously and that Xenk would take even more seriously than even him, so the idea that he's not heard about this yet is a little concerning.
And to finish his letter of course, he must sign off:]
Ever yours, Fenris.
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My dear, Fenris,
[ The words start out strong again, he means them as ever. ]
I fear I must apologize for the continued pratfalls that the Paladins continue to allow among their number. It is an unfortunately common tale that those who seek to create order so often fail to maintain it within their own number. I had hoped for the best, and that this world would prove different, but I can see now that this is not so. It is as you say, there is loyalty to be found at times, among those whose hearts drive them more toward thievery and survival. While I do not share the morals and beliefs found in the Corsairs, I have never once looked down on their member. The same cannot be said for the Paladins as an order, I fear, and this is the heart to which I cannot so easily redress.
[ He's conflicted, in other words. The Paladins look down on the Corsairs, and they act like they know best, but they obviously haven't listened to Xenk's own complaints, or addressed the matter of their rogue Paladins... But he doesn't let the worry darken his features for long. How could he, when Fenris has agreed to help him? ]
I am blessed to find your favor, as well as the support from you both in this endeavor.
[ He smiles. He really is so lucky to have such good friends! Because they're definitely. Good friends. Very good friends! ]
Of course! My Oath of Devotion. I fear this explanation may become somewhat verbose, so I apologize... perhaps it is better I sign off here, and spare you my explanation in person.
[ He thinks he's sooo funny. ]
Most fortunately, Xenk.
[ Ok, but that done, he clears his throat. ]
As for my Oath. In my world, a paladin is but one of many classes that one may choose in order to wield magic or use one's powers to fight the realm's many dangers. What sets paladins apart from fighters is the Oath we swear in exchange for divine intercession. Among these is the Oath of the Ancients, which is made to the gods of the Earth, and binds paladins to seek the betterment of the land and nature. As well, there are Oaths of Redemption, of Conquest, and Vengeance for gods whom are more aligned with fury and destruction. My own Oath, the Oath of Devotion, is one I swore to Tyr, god of justice. It decrees that I follow the tenets of devotion, which are as follows:
[ He recites these by heart, of course: ]
Honesty. A paladin's oath is only as strong as their word. Their word shall never utter deceptions or falsehoods. Courage. One must warning with their actions, but never let those actions be halted by fright or panic. Compassion. I shall ever offer succor and safe haven to those that cannot defend themselves. And stand strong against their tormentors and practice forbearance when wise to do so. Honor. One must conduct one's affairs in a manner that exemplifies virtuous integrity to the world. Ensure that the good deeds I perform always outweigh any inadvertent grief I may cause. And lastly, duty. It decrees that one must follow justly those to whom one serves, ensure ownership of all one's deeds, and guard with one's life those whom one has sworn to watch over.
[ And this is the story of how he will kill for anyone he's ever met. ]
Should I ever fail in one of these, then my magic is withheld from me, and my oath is considered broken. But so long as I remain true to these tenets, I am blessed with Tyr's magic and his blessings upon my person.
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Friends hold hands.
He listens, as he ever does, carefully to everything Xenk says. There is a light chuckle at the ridiculousness of the sign off before the man explains himself further. It would seem their little game was over, which was fine, it was entertaining but perhaps a little foolish.
Maybe one day he will learn well enough to read to write his own letters.
Still, he listens attentively to the explanation of the Oath and.. it feels off to him. If he is understanding correctly, he does not doubt that were able Sebastian would be a paladin of the Maker, his devotion was so strong, but-- This oath sounds almost like indentured servitude, willing entered and agreed to, yes.. but to have to adhere to such strict principals or get what was given taken from you. It almost makes him feel like Xenk is a thrall to this Tyr.]
And you.. willingly entered into this Oath with your Tyr?
[He looks a little conflicted, but otherwise tries to keep his uncomfortable emotions to himself. It seemed like freedom, but in reality, to Fenris, it was just a long leash and it didn't sit right with him at all.
Perhaps he should speak to Astarion about it, this was outside his understanding and he didn't want to upset Xenk too much by questioning something he obviously holds as very important to himself.]
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Of course. It is an honor to be found worthy of his blessing. My Oath is the holy fire on which my magic is forged. I wear my devotion proudly. It rallies to others the clear proof of my intent.
[ Xenk, after all, finds nothing strange about his Oath. They are as common to him as the rising of the sun and the breeze on the wind. And tells everyone around him that he's a stick in the mud, basically!! I mean, sure, it can feel like a leash at times but those times are so rare, Xenk wouldn't want to bother Fenris with them. ]
I apologize, I find at times that I can be quite verbose when explaining topics of which I am particularly knowledgeable of. I did not intend for our discussion to stray from the matter at hand.
[ That is, the topic of his letter, and the writing besides.... ]
My letter, and the invitation therein. I am honored to have your assistance, and, if it would not be too bold, would--
[ He squeezes Fenris' hand gently. He doesn't need to be so proper with Fenris, at least not all the time, does he? They're friends. ]
Would you like me to help you, with learning to read and write? I would not presume over your wants or needs, but I find the practice of writing letters to be quite enjoyable.
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No. Maybe Fenris needed more information about this, needed to better understand. He did not want to offend his friend by questioning him so directly, especially about something he feels such value for - he knows that if his own values were questioned he would grow defensive and irritated. And while he does not see that happening with Xenk, he also did not want his friend to feel disregarded for his values.
He would think on it and perhaps go to Astarion about it. Try to gain an understanding from someone with an outside perspective.]
There is nothing to apologize for, I wish to fully understand your oath and what it means to you. I do appreciate your verbose candor.
[He did appreciate it, he asked and is glad that Xenk thought to share it all with him gladly. Many might have seen to say less and confuse him more. He wants to understand, it's why he's struggling to.
The squeeze to his hand and the offer take him by surprise, his eyebrows going up for a second, but soon they settle and a warmth spreads to Fenris' ears. He had asked Daria for some help in this area, in getting him books so he could learn, but to be offered to be taught?
It's been a while, since Hawke, but he finds himself nodding at the unexpected kindness. It was almost too much.]
If it isn't much trouble I would be grateful to learn. Letter writing seems to be a staple here and.. [He feels lost on that aspect] An acquaintance has helped me acquire books to help me learn but I find myself... still struggling on my own.
[A pause, then he squeezes the man's hand back.] If you wish to assist me, I would insist to repay you for this kindness.
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It must seem strange, to those from a different world.
[ Especially one like Fenris', where the gods have gone missing or are said to not exist. Yes, surely this is the part that's weird. Well, anyway.
The real matter at hand is Xenk's offer. It's been many, many years since Xenk learned his letters, but he's ventured high and low across the land, and taught and learned more languages than just Common. ]
It would be no trouble at all. It would be an honor, in fact. And an excellent reason to travel Nogard, which I am ever happy to visit.
[ So many of his friends are there!! But Xenk almost smirks at Fenris' insistence of repayment. He twines their fingers together because he finds that offer extremely endearing. ]
Having heard my Oath, you know that no such repayment would be necessary. You are my friend, Fenris. My offer is without any expectation.
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[But he doesn't linger long on that, instead moving on from it rather readily, because he has to think on it and what discomforts him about this Oath, how it feels indentured to him. Yet he knows it is likely a difference in worlds, a lack of understanding between them, because Xenk does not act indentured or pressed upon by his god. Not like Fenris would think he would if it was any different.
Still, that was something to think on, perhaps discuss with Astarion.
He can't stop himself from the small curl of lips into a smile as he feels the man twine their fingers together, giving them a squeeze when it's done. The refusal of repayment is not surprising in the least, but he still finds it in himself to want to repay the other man for this, not wanting to be in his debt. Even if he knows Xenk would never call on that debt.]
Then I shall have to think of a way to repay you by a means of which you cannot refuse.
[He knows that Xenk does not need to eat, he gathered that much from their time together, but perhaps he can figure out what he likes to indulge in and Fenris will make it.]
If there is something you particularly enjoy indulging in, I would be glad to provide it during our lessons together.
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[ But Xenk values differences, and finds Fenris' worries to be endearing more than anything. Just as Fenris insists on repayment, it's just another thing that proves his kindness, and Xenk could never fault him for being a kind, honest person. ]
It is not often I indulge.
[ But he says this lightly, more an inside joke for himself than anything. The truth is of course that he indulges quite a bit. He does not need to eat, but he does. He does not drink to excess, but he still imbibes. Well, and now he has a pet cat. Little things that he justifies as being part of the "human" experience. He would not deprive himself of them, nor concern others with his lack of need.
And he can't exactly ask to be paid in kisses or something like that, unless Fenris offered it first... ]
I shall need to think of something, as it is not my intent to make you indebted to me.
[ Ah, but the letters might be the answer. Xenk does enjoy proper ink and parchment. Who can say, really... ]
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The light way that Xenk says it, it makes him wonder what the joke it, though he doesn't ask. He's often not privy to many jokes, not that it doesn't bother him. His own jokes often fly over some heads because he says them so seriously, his dry sarcasm often not sounding any different from anything else he says.
It does occur to him, he knows that Xenk is a type of undead too, much like Astarion... perhaps--]
Xenk, you mentioned before that you are.. partially undead, yes? [He lowers his voice very carefully, making sure this is truly between the two of them alone.]
Are you also sustained by consuming blood? I do not mind offering my own if so.
[He would warn the man of the affects and a part of him wonders if Astarion might not want to share that aspect with another, but he will cross those bridges when the time comes.]
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Xenk needs a moment to. Hear all those words and put them in an order that makes sense. His smile remains, though his head tilts to the side in confusion. He blinks, the gears in his head clearly turning.
Fenris would not offer something he didn't mean. And he clearly means what he's offering, which gives Xenk pause... oh, it's because he's so close with Astarion, isn't it? This would explain much. Xenk hasn't inquired as to Astarion's blood supply since the first time they discussed it, but he knows that he must be feeding from some of the Corsairs, if it hasn't been a problem again. ]
I am flattered by your generous offer, Fenris.
[ And he is! It's a very big deal to offer one's lifeblood as payment. It isn't something Xenk would take unless he truly had to, but it's deeply flattering. ]
However, I am able to ingest mortal food, and do not consume blood as our mutual friend does.
[ He still doesn't say his name because he's that serious about his secret. ]
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Nor is he bothered by it.]
Ah, I see.. [There was some embarrassment.] I was unsure how undead in your world work, as they are but mindless husks or spirits in mine.
[All but the one, that was Hawke's mother, but he tries not to remember that abomination of pain and suffering that was nothing like his friends here. Another instance of terrible magic and the horrible ways it can be used...]
Then I shall make you what Thedas dishes I know as repayment initially, at least until such time that I can figure out a better method.
[He gives the other man's hand a squeeze.]
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Still, he could not possibly fault Fenris for not knowing the finer details between different kinds of undead. ]
You have nothing to compare to, I understand. In our case, the distinction is thus: a vampire must consume blood, while I am closer to what is called a zombie; a reanimated corpse. Though my condition is only partial, thus my body continues to operate as it should—I have a heartbeat, though it is slow, and do not specifically require food, though I am capable of consuming it.
[ He says these things so easily, like he's explaining how the grass grows or the sun shines. But Xenk still hopes his words don't put off Fenris—for all that he is blunt and honest, he's like this because he feels it's what his friends are owed. He squeezes his hand in return, smiling softly. ]
I shall look forward to it, then. I am ever happy to discover new things, and food is an excellent means with which to experience other cultures.
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Still, he cannot fault Astarion for his need for blood to survive or Xenk's lack of need for food. He's not about to change how he feels about his friends due to some very mild discomfort over something that was out of their control. This is just how they were, however that was. It was just another part of another world that didn't translate purely over to his own.
Honestly, it was just easier to not think of them as undead at all but as Astarion and Xenk without worrying about the details.
He gives a nod. Before he steps forward and gives Xenk a kiss.]
Then it would be my pleasure to cook what I know, though I do not know many recipes. Will have to think of something better for when I exercise the limit of my cooking knowledge.
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But being around friends, and loves besides, does help him feel alive in ways he hadn't thought he'd get to enjoy. So when that kiss from Fenris comes, he's both surprised and deeply grateful. He knows just how lucky he is to have a friend like him. Helping him with his literacy would be his pleasure, if only to show Fenris just how much he means to him. ]
Know that anything made by your hand would be the finest ambrosia for me, Fenris.
[ He moves his arm to wrap around Fenris' waist, leaning down to return the kiss in kind. ]
You are much too kind, and I would be fortunate indeed to have earned such care.
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He feels... not blessed, but of that nature to know Xenk, to have had this chance to meet the man and get to know him. To care about him. He was a good friend and ally, something Fenris hasn't had much of in his life and for that he's grateful. And it explains why he might be concerned for the man, even if he does not express it.
He hopes the kiss conveys as much, if not, he's never been one to have trouble voicing his feelings at least. ]
You flatter me, but I did not work in the kitchens, if it's unbearable, please spit it out. [He means it, he doesn't have to worry about killing Xenk with his cooking really, but he knows it likely won't be fantastic.]
You are the one doing me a great kindness.. the shellphones help, but I find myself often at a disadvantage here without the skill to read.
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You underestimate my ability to stomach even the strangest of foods. I have traveled Faerun for over a century, I mean this seriously -- you cannot make anything that would offend my tastebuds. Unless it happens to be entirely uncooked.
[ He's had that happen before! But also he seems happy to have Fenris' care and his counsel. Unfortunately, once you get closer to Xenk, his awful sense of humor starts to come out. He says things like this and then he's back to being serious. (He's always serious, just sometimes it's on purpose.) ]
Of course. It is a valuable skill, and one that many often take for granted. [ Reading and writing, even in Faerun, was not a given. ] When I first fled from Thay in my youth, I knew only how to read and write in Thayan script. The common language was known to me, but putting it to paper took some time. And it was not until years later that I learned the proper rules of grammar and recitation. I will ensure it does not take you years to master this.
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It wasn't a long list.
Still it was a list he was willing to explore to cook for the other man.
He follows the joke and back into seriousness rather easily at least, both used to it from Xenk and his own ability to go from sarcasm to joking with great ease. There was a reason it often took his friends back home a little bit of time to usually figure out if he was joking or not.]
Yes, I know that at least I have the vocabulary, if I can learn to associate the arranged letters to the word, it should be easy enough, but learning to read has been.. a difficult endeavor. One I was trying to learn with Hawke when I was back home.
But thank you. I will do my best to be a good student.