He thinks about it. Thinks about how it wasn't unpleasant to share a bed, how he isn't fucking other people already, how he wouldn't mind spending more time with Cobb. How he is more than willing to help him with his reading, something that would help them both at the same time.
Cobb wasn't scared of the risk. Hawke would tell him Fuck it, do it. Rue might tell him something of the same but less cursing.
This thing between them always had a time limit, one day they will hurt each other by going their separate ways, but even if that wasn't the case, one of them could die tomorrow, vanish tomorrow, what's wrong with grabbing hold of something now.
With a pause, he finally reaches up to touch Cobb's face. "If you will have me then, I am willing to attempt this."
"Think I've had you plenty of times," he says with a smirk but he carefully leans into Fenris' touch.
The truth is whatever they build between them, whatever they build here, won't last. One of them will go one day and they won't ever get each other back. Different universes and all that. Cobb knows the pain is coming whether they get on well or not.
Pain's an old friend. He'd like to have pleasure and happiness along the way towards the end if he can.
He covers Fenris' hand with his then brings it around to kiss his palm. "Don't see either of us as the publicly affectionate types though. Probably just let those closest to us figure it out and leave the rest for just the two of us?"
Cobb's not the type to hold hands in public or any of that. Important things are kept private so no one can take them. He doesn't want Fenris to be disappointed if that's something he's looking for.
"Vulgar," but he smirks all the same, maybe even does that cute stupid Fenris giggle, so clearly he doesn't actually mind.
He lets Cobb kiss his palm and watches him closely, yes he can do this, be affectionate. It's clear as it is they are what they are and no one will change that about them. They just need to figure what works for them in their own quiet little ways.
"I will be informing Rue, I promised them that should anything of this nature happen to me that they would be the first to know," and he honors his promises. "Other than that, Garrett Hawke will know and I shall leave it for people to figure out over time if they are so curious."
He doesn't seem to mind the fact that there will be nothing public. In fact he prefers it being more private and between them.
"I will need you to be forthright what what you need from me at times, there is much I am willing to do but will not initiate... at the start at least." Once he figures out cuddling, he might initiate it some in the future, but until then, Cobb might have to take the lead.
Cobb's not familiar with Rue but it's fine. He's familiar with the fella with the fire wings having seen him around but never really talked with the man. He's heard a lot from Marc though.
"Might tell Steve. Probably Marc." But that's really the only people Cobb has to tell about anything important like this. He doesn't really think anyone else would give a damn about something so personal.
He nods at the request and gently lowers their hands, keeping their fingers tangled together. "Never had much of a problem speakin' my mind. And we've always been honest with each other."
Cobb can't image they'll be dancing around each other. "You can do the same, you know. If there's something you like or don't."
Of course they won't be dancing around each other, Fenris has always been and still will be rather forthright about what he likes and dislikes. But he nods his assent, agreeing to the request.
His ears feel a little flushed at the feel of them holding hands, but he doesn't say anything. This will be a lot to get used to.
"Whomever you wish to tell is fine by me, Ah... though Marc and I did have a discussion over forced truth icecream about our... relations with you," might as well warn the guy, because if he tells Marc it might come up.
"Merely... an awkward encounter for him is all," Fenris hardly cared who knew about his sex life.
He wants to make that clear. When he slept with Marc he didn't know Layla existed. Somehow in all their conversations and spending time together she didn't get mentioned. Sometimes the guilt over the whole thing still claws at him.
"But that'll make it easier to tell him." If they ever decided to talk about something so personal. Their friendship is almost entirely built on things they don't talk about directly.
For a moment he considers maybe warning Fenris some folks might have something to say about it but he doesn't. Cobb's not sure about it.
"You wanna go sit?" He nods his head towards the couch.
"I'd hardly fault you for something you were unaware of," he sees no reason to have guilt over something he was never made aware of. But then again, ignorance is hardly an excuse to most.
He doesn't mind if anyone has anything to say to him. Honestly, unless they choose to make it someone's business, he doesn't plan to care what anyone else says.
He nods, choosing to lead the way to the couch after the invitation.
Then he pauses and isn't sure what kind of invitation this is. Was it to make out? Have sex? Cuddle? He's not sure he knows how to do the last one, but he chooses to just take a seat and follow Cobb's lead. "Where do we go from here?"
"Yeah, well, still feel like a bastard sometimes." The guilt is less than it was but damn if it still didn't occasionally creep up on Cobb out of nowhere sometimes. He's working on it and it's certainly less that it was.
He drops onto the couch and stretches his legs out. He doesn't do much more besides put an arm across the back of the couch so he can brush his fingers across Fenris' shoulder.
"We can start with you stayin' the night," he suggests with a little smile. Something that they had also never done before. "And figure out the rest as we go. I've missed your company."
Fenris thinks about it for a second, but then he kind of tucks himself up against Cobb's side a little. Not flush, but some. Which is a lot for him in his current state of being, he's gonna take some warming up to get cuddly.
The suggestion is interesting. For some it might be anticlimactic, but he was comfortable. It felt right for them and that's what's important.
"Sounds agreeable to me, then lets see where the night takes us," he gets comfortable, pulling one leg up onto the couch to sit in a half cross legged pose. "I missed your company as well... I spoke to a small number of people about... us, to try and determine how to think about the situation."
He pauses, then continues, "Your absence left me with a lot to think about."
It's a start, a little thing. A sign of the softness that is somewhere buried deep in Fenris. Cobb believes he's been shaped to a weapon and has sharp edges but he doesn't think that's all there is.
There's something sweet under it all. A rare treasure Cobb might be lucky enough to glimpse.
"I went to the desert after that night," he explains even though Fenris isn't really asking for an explanation. "It's not home but it helps me think to be out there. I didn't tell anyone I was goin'. Didn't think most would miss me."
Those close friends he mentioned maybe but Cobb hasn't made too many close friends. He has folks around him but those he lets close are very few.
"Sorry if I worried you." He idly brushes his fingers through Fenris' hair.
As it were, Cobb might be the only one who will get to see it fully one day. But that was a ways away still. For now it was perhaps glimpses and peeks. Hints and subtleties.
For now he listens, careful and quiet. No, he wasn't acting for an explanation, but he appreciates it all the same. The thought was kind and he can accept that, Fenris thinks to shake his head at the apology, but then there are fingers in his hair and he melts a little after going stiff for a second. They were welcome by how he leans into it some.
"Not worried... merely missed you while taking the time to think about what this was between us. It seems you needed the same space and time to do the same." But he had missed Cobb, just wanted to give the man the same amount of space in return.
Hm. Likes getting his hair pet. Cobb keeps it up, fingers slow and steady. They can just relax for now until the mood shifts to something else. A part of Cobb has been aching for this though. A little something sweeter when this world really isn't.
"I'll try not to disappear without warnin' in the future." A message to Fenris just to let him know where he'd gone off to. It'd be too easy to assume they'd gone back home in this world.
He doesn't want that. He doesn't want Fenris to feel alone here with no one who understands him.
"Forgot what it's like to have someone worry." His townsfolk did but they weren't here. His friends did but Issa-Or and Weequay weren't here. He's got Fenris now it seems like it.
He's never really had his hair played with, but he finds it very nice, almost a respite against the pain all other touch offers him. It sends a pleasant shiver up his spine and he decides not to resist it.
"I would appreciate that, you are welcome to need time to yourself, I will never begrudge that, but a warning would be well received," so he doesn't worry, so he doesn't seek him out. Even Fenris needs time alone, he understands, but to have a warning would be beneficial to them both ultimately.
He doesn't want to assume the worst of death or vanishing back home. He wants to know that Cobb is alive and still here.
"I will return the favor. Even I need space to think at times."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Cobb wasn't scared of the risk. Hawke would tell him Fuck it, do it. Rue might tell him something of the same but less cursing.
This thing between them always had a time limit, one day they will hurt each other by going their separate ways, but even if that wasn't the case, one of them could die tomorrow, vanish tomorrow, what's wrong with grabbing hold of something now.
With a pause, he finally reaches up to touch Cobb's face. "If you will have me then, I am willing to attempt this."
no subject
The truth is whatever they build between them, whatever they build here, won't last. One of them will go one day and they won't ever get each other back. Different universes and all that. Cobb knows the pain is coming whether they get on well or not.
Pain's an old friend. He'd like to have pleasure and happiness along the way towards the end if he can.
He covers Fenris' hand with his then brings it around to kiss his palm. "Don't see either of us as the publicly affectionate types though. Probably just let those closest to us figure it out and leave the rest for just the two of us?"
Cobb's not the type to hold hands in public or any of that. Important things are kept private so no one can take them. He doesn't want Fenris to be disappointed if that's something he's looking for.
no subject
He lets Cobb kiss his palm and watches him closely, yes he can do this, be affectionate. It's clear as it is they are what they are and no one will change that about them. They just need to figure what works for them in their own quiet little ways.
"I will be informing Rue, I promised them that should anything of this nature happen to me that they would be the first to know," and he honors his promises. "Other than that, Garrett Hawke will know and I shall leave it for people to figure out over time if they are so curious."
He doesn't seem to mind the fact that there will be nothing public. In fact he prefers it being more private and between them.
"I will need you to be forthright what what you need from me at times, there is much I am willing to do but will not initiate... at the start at least." Once he figures out cuddling, he might initiate it some in the future, but until then, Cobb might have to take the lead.
no subject
"Might tell Steve. Probably Marc." But that's really the only people Cobb has to tell about anything important like this. He doesn't really think anyone else would give a damn about something so personal.
He nods at the request and gently lowers their hands, keeping their fingers tangled together. "Never had much of a problem speakin' my mind. And we've always been honest with each other."
Cobb can't image they'll be dancing around each other. "You can do the same, you know. If there's something you like or don't."
no subject
His ears feel a little flushed at the feel of them holding hands, but he doesn't say anything. This will be a lot to get used to.
"Whomever you wish to tell is fine by me, Ah... though Marc and I did have a discussion over forced truth icecream about our... relations with you," might as well warn the guy, because if he tells Marc it might come up.
"Merely... an awkward encounter for him is all," Fenris hardly cared who knew about his sex life.
no subject
He wants to make that clear. When he slept with Marc he didn't know Layla existed. Somehow in all their conversations and spending time together she didn't get mentioned. Sometimes the guilt over the whole thing still claws at him.
"But that'll make it easier to tell him." If they ever decided to talk about something so personal. Their friendship is almost entirely built on things they don't talk about directly.
For a moment he considers maybe warning Fenris some folks might have something to say about it but he doesn't. Cobb's not sure about it.
"You wanna go sit?" He nods his head towards the couch.
no subject
He doesn't mind if anyone has anything to say to him. Honestly, unless they choose to make it someone's business, he doesn't plan to care what anyone else says.
He nods, choosing to lead the way to the couch after the invitation.
Then he pauses and isn't sure what kind of invitation this is. Was it to make out? Have sex? Cuddle? He's not sure he knows how to do the last one, but he chooses to just take a seat and follow Cobb's lead. "Where do we go from here?"
no subject
He drops onto the couch and stretches his legs out. He doesn't do much more besides put an arm across the back of the couch so he can brush his fingers across Fenris' shoulder.
"We can start with you stayin' the night," he suggests with a little smile. Something that they had also never done before. "And figure out the rest as we go. I've missed your company."
no subject
The suggestion is interesting. For some it might be anticlimactic, but he was comfortable. It felt right for them and that's what's important.
"Sounds agreeable to me, then lets see where the night takes us," he gets comfortable, pulling one leg up onto the couch to sit in a half cross legged pose. "I missed your company as well... I spoke to a small number of people about... us, to try and determine how to think about the situation."
He pauses, then continues, "Your absence left me with a lot to think about."
no subject
There's something sweet under it all. A rare treasure Cobb might be lucky enough to glimpse.
"I went to the desert after that night," he explains even though Fenris isn't really asking for an explanation. "It's not home but it helps me think to be out there. I didn't tell anyone I was goin'. Didn't think most would miss me."
Those close friends he mentioned maybe but Cobb hasn't made too many close friends. He has folks around him but those he lets close are very few.
"Sorry if I worried you." He idly brushes his fingers through Fenris' hair.
no subject
For now he listens, careful and quiet. No, he wasn't acting for an explanation, but he appreciates it all the same. The thought was kind and he can accept that, Fenris thinks to shake his head at the apology, but then there are fingers in his hair and he melts a little after going stiff for a second. They were welcome by how he leans into it some.
"Not worried... merely missed you while taking the time to think about what this was between us. It seems you needed the same space and time to do the same." But he had missed Cobb, just wanted to give the man the same amount of space in return.
"Regardless, I appreciate your return."
no subject
"I'll try not to disappear without warnin' in the future." A message to Fenris just to let him know where he'd gone off to. It'd be too easy to assume they'd gone back home in this world.
He doesn't want that. He doesn't want Fenris to feel alone here with no one who understands him.
"Forgot what it's like to have someone worry." His townsfolk did but they weren't here. His friends did but Issa-Or and Weequay weren't here. He's got Fenris now it seems like it.
no subject
"I would appreciate that, you are welcome to need time to yourself, I will never begrudge that, but a warning would be well received," so he doesn't worry, so he doesn't seek him out. Even Fenris needs time alone, he understands, but to have a warning would be beneficial to them both ultimately.
He doesn't want to assume the worst of death or vanishing back home. He wants to know that Cobb is alive and still here.
"I will return the favor. Even I need space to think at times."